The Value of Open Ended Questions in Building Relationships
You may be aware or not, that YTM Business Networking is a proud supporter of the START foundation, and today I like to introduce you to Michelle Jelleff, a founding director of the START foundation, an organisation that empowers amputees in life through sport, but before we talk about START, let me share some of the maze of twists and turns that Michelle alluded to in the forward of my book. where she mentioned that her life has been anything but conventional, not intentionally, but rather more of an organic process.
There is always more to learn
Our connection with the START foundation, began through a YTM co working day back in 2017 and regular conversations have allowed us to continue to build a relationship. However, like with any relationship, there is always more to learn… you just need to be having purposeful conversations.
When we met and heard of the START foundation’s mission to provide grants for a new limb, limb modification or equipment modification, to enable Amputees to participate in sport to achieve their sporting dreams, we were inspired.
During a recent podcast conversation has continued to deepen our relationships as she shared more about her life prior to START. However, there was so much we did not cover in the podcast due to time constraints, and I’d like to share with you. So often without a deeper conversation, we miss out on golden opportunities to learn and establish connection, or find ways we can help.
When we look back over our lives and connect the dots, we often can see the links to where we now find ourselves. It is not surprising to learn that Michelle’s two passions are sport and education, both of which foster empowerment and confidence.
It’s these two passions and her friendship with co-founder and amputee Kerryn Harvey that drew her to the START foundation bringing a range of skills and experience to the foundation, including leadership, governance and financial management from over 30 years working in education and sporting organisations in Australia and the United States. Through her role, Michelle now witnesses first-hand the impact a START foundation grant can have on the life of an amputee and their community.
START foundation empowers amputees in life through sport, by providing grants to purchase sports prosthesis or adaptive equipment, to assist them to achieve their sporting dreams. Sport allows amputees to engage and interact with family, peers and their community without their disability being front and centre. An amputee’s involvement in sport also demonstrates inclusion and assists in dispelling conscious and unconscious bias associated with the capability of a person with a disability. In a country like Australia where “sport” is the universal language, the impact is profound.
Connecting the dots
Michelle’s career has largely been based within education, particularly administration. She’s worked within both the Vocational and Higher Education sectors in a range of roles. Each role has fostered growth in her leadership, business and operational skills. Every career move has had a heavy reliance on building relationships with both internal and external stakeholders. These experiences, along with her passion for sport, combined perfectly for the biggest challenge of her life in setting up START foundation.
Using open ended questions, I invite you to learn more .
“What are your interests?” (This style of question opens the door to learning more and piecing together Michelle’s story )
“My interests often have a sport or outdoor focus. I am a life member of the Malvern Harriers, I am a passionate open swimmer, I love cycling and feel totally relaxed when I am in the wilderness hiking.
“Could you share with me 2 or 3 experiences that you had, prior to START ?“ (an open ended question leaves room to move in a conversation)
“If I reflect on life changing experiences, then the first would be visiting the USA in the mid 80s, meeting my pen-pal for the first time (who is the daughter of my mum’s pen-pal from the 1940s) and going to Pennsylvania to work at a summer camp. Little did I know that this experience would forge life-long friendships, cement my commitment to work in education and lead me on an adventure that led to an opportunity to study at the University of Maine!
Some years after returning to Australia and working in the vocational education sector, I was offered a role to manage an international congress that would be hosted by TAFE Directors Australia. This two year experience was both challenging and hugely rewarding. The shocking terrorist acts of September 11 took place less than a year out from the scheduled date of the Congress, which had a huge impact on the number of international registrations; particularly those from North America. That said, over 600 delegates arrived in Melbourne to experience the four day event. The highlight for me was meeting Jose Ramos Horta, the East Timorese politician who later became the President of East Timor from 2007 to 2012. He was one of the keynote speakers and it was truly an honour to meet him and hear him speak at our event.
How have you benefited from your passion? (This question uncovers sporting achievements , which alone, would have created some amazing conversation)
“My passion for sport and the outdoors have given me some extraordinary experiences. Each of my seven marathons have their own story, but the two I reflect on the most are 1) completing the Australian Alpine Walking Track with my husband in 2012 and 2) cycling from Perth to Melbourne as part of the START foundation’s launch in 2015”
“What impact have these experiences had on you? (Reflection is always of value, and often we overlook the opportunity to learn about self and others)
“All three experiences had a profound impact on me. My time in the USA was at a truly influential time of my life, 19 – 27 years of age. I built a sense of self awareness and belief that gave me the confidence to follow trust my instincts. The many friends and acquaintances I met along the way were like stepping-stones and this allowed me to recognise that being authentic and demonstrating integrity were the basis of building trust and long term relationships.
The World Congress demonstrated the importance of teamwork and the ability to adapt to circumstances that were beyond your control. I had a tremendous leader and mentor during this experience and it taught me this valuable life lesson.
Completing the Alpine Walking Track was an extraordinary experience as it was shared with my husband and tested us both individually and as a team. On reflection, I realise how we both offered each other strength at different times throughout the walk when the physical and psychological pressures often felt overwhelming. We experienced some challenging terrain and weather across the 5-week unsupported trek. Conversely, we both recognised the privilege of being in some of the most remote and spectacular parts of the country, alone! We went 10-days at one point in our journey without seeing a sole. It was quite liberating.
“What did you learn along the way?” (focus and clarity can make a great topic for conversation)
“All these experiences taught and reinforced that I am strong on both the inside and outside. I am able to go deep within myself and identify an approach to most challenges and opportunities that are thrown at me. They are not always pleasant, but I try to take an optimistic and solution driven approach. I also try to stay in the moment as it’s often when you are challenged the most, you learn the most about yourself and others.
“Having lost my mother as a young child, I have always felt I am a survivor. I have been incredibly fortunate to have had some extraordinary people around me over the years and these people have always given me a sense of hope and optimism, which has served me well.
The Catalyst to Change - background to START
“In 2013 when my sister-in-law, Kerryn Harvey, almost lost her life through a cycling accident and became an amputee, it certainly tested our entire family and friendship circle. We all came out the other end and the establishment of START foundation has enabled me to culminate all my personal and professional experience toward the mission of empowering amputees in life through sport. In many ways, it’s the most rewarding role of my career.
The decision to establish a charity to support amputees to achieve their sporting dreams was made about six months after Kerryn’s accident. She was back in Melbourne having spent three months in the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) and was slowly rebuilding her life. A group of friends had gathered for a social catch-up and discussions revolved around organising a bike ride to raise money to thank the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) for their extraordinary support while Kerryn was in hospital. The concept of Ride for the RAH was formed. Kerryn needed to have her own bike modified, so she could ride it with one arm and also purchase a tandem. It was through the process of organising the bikes that it became apparent that sports equipment modification was expensive and not that accessible. Creating an avenue for amputees to access modified equipment and sports prosthesis became the focal point of the discussion and through this, START foundation was formed!
“What is something you want to see changed ?” (Identifying goals can allow you opportunity to help)
“With the establishment of the NDIS, funding for sports prosthesis is inconsistent across Australia as it is often seen as a luxury item. For many, a prosthesis that allows for more mobility to enable comfortable and effective participation in a range of sport and recreational activities is sometimes not seen as a necessity. START is presently working with the University of Melbourne’s Disability Institute to undertake a body of qualitative research to gather data that will tell us the impact of being able to participate in sport has on the life of an amputee. IF the data indicates that there are significant benefits, then START and the Melbourne Disability Institute plan to use this outcome to lobby to government to ensure that if an amputee wishes to engage in sport or recreation and requires a sports prosethesis, it can be included on their NDIS plan.”
Michelle Jelleff with grant recipient, Sara Shams, at the YTM dinner in 2019
What contribution would you like to make? (a question of enquiry, allows you to explore the values and drivers person you are speaking with, and can uncover ways you may be able to assist)
“If the anecdotal data is confirmed through this body of research and it can influence government policy to ensure sports prosthesis are not considered a luxury item through the NDIS, then this will open up tremendous opportunities for amputees from a physical, psychological and social perspective. Amputees, like any member of our community who wish to have a more active life, should be able to have the choice to be involved in activities of their choice.
What have been some challenges? (Reflective questions deepen your connection with the ‘real” person and their world)
“For START foundation, navigating through the layers of governance has been a challenge at times; however, if you build a team filled with complementary skills, then many of these challenges are minimised.
“Ongoing fundraising is perhaps our greatest challenge as we rely on sponsors and donors. Continually connecting with and growing our supporter base requires incredibly energy and lateral thinking to keep the message fresh, relevant and engaging.
And the most positive consequences? ( Learn from and expand your own knowledge from genuine and open conversations with others)
“Through START, I have had the privilege to witness individuals transform. A sports prosthesis or adaptive sports equipment is an enabler and through the experiences that transpire, confidence and empowerment are often fostered. It is so humbling to see the impact on people’s lives and to watch them grow, and often, thrive.
What does the future look like? ( A question that could open the door to an opportunity and where you may be able to offer a connection or support)
“I am hopeful that in context of START foundation that the future offers a world where an amputation is no barrier to participating in sport and achieving sporting dreams.
How can we help? ( This is possibly the most valuable question you can ask when you seek to build relationships)
“Be reflective and recognise that there are avenues available to make a difference; however small you might think it is. Identify what has meaning to you and explore opportunities to contribute in that area and make an impact. If COVID has taught us anything, it is the value of human connection and the extraordinary affect a demonstration of kindness can have upon another person.
Those who are interested to learn about START can listen to a podcast interview made at a YTM Dinner in 2019 HERE or visit our website at: www.startfoundation.org.au or contact Michelle Jelleff directly through her LinkedIn profile
If you are keen to proactively engage in conversations to build relationships, trust and business, join us at one of many YTM coming events. Check them out here. to expand your knowledge and combine business networking , then check out our YTM Membership and benefits to our community HERE .
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